It's basically highschool except i don't know or care about anyone else, and i have to actually do work outside of class.  I'm 99.9% sure i hate it, you know what the highlight of my week is?  I'm meeting Adam Loesch for lunch tomorrow. yeah thats it.  why oh why did i take 18 credit hours?  I'm actually starting to hate music i think if i still feel like this in a year or so i'm gonna drop out and try to be a rockstar. i mean what do i have to lose?

i finally finished the Inuyasha series. and i'm literally in shock, not because of the ending, but because i've sepent 5 years of my life watching the show and reading the manga and its just.......wow. Its a bittersweet taste, the end of books, videogames, comics.....iono.  Its just hard for me to process so i'm gonna rant about it at two am on my livejournal instead.  I love the ending of things because then i know what happens, but at the same time I feel a loss.....i don't understand why b/c they are only fictional characters(i've stuggled with this for a while so bear with my ranting.)  You should have seen what happened to me after the Stargate SG-1 series finale.  It was bad.  I don't think i'd be feeling this bad if Avatar hadn't also ended this week.  Well i'm about to start a new manga series (online of course) and suggestions?  Anything Sci-Fi/Fantasy with romance thrown in is good with me!  i'm thinking Bleach, Vampire Knight, Cowboy Bebop (although i didn't like the anime  version much), or.....i don't know.  I'm gonna try to force myself to sleep now and not dream of Feudal Japan for the next month. 

so......i'm gonna learn how to be a ninja, or the closest thing to it i can get!  I've decided to take a break with my music, i just don't have the......i don't know but whatever i had that enable me to write music is gone and i'm pissed.  I don't know what i'm going to do about college because i don't think i want to be a music teacher, but i have no idea what else to do!  I guess i can hope that halfway through my college career i'll find something that interests me.  I'm just so confused, although i did figure it out today that i refuse to feel bad for not calling Grant back because its completly useless and better this way b/c i'd only be a bitch to him and i'm happier this way and he is too (although i'm sure he'd disagree).  Well i gotta go do fucking yard work...damn.  Oh Mel, are you still getting a group together to see Get Smart? i want to see it, it sounds funny!  lol your days as an international terrorist have bee well documented, oh yes oh yes!  True Lies was so funny.

Melanie. I don't think i'm a wise wizard because i can still type. and i have things to say but i can't think straight so. good night. and i'm posting this even though it is short b/c short is good.  the Wise Wizards says farewell, and i hope i don't have to do a boss match, i would lose and like it. good night again.

I don't know what's important to me, i've got my music, my job, school, family, wicca, and on top of that i want to start matial arts classes.  I don't know which avenue to persue, can i do more than one? i don't know.  I just know i want to be able to kick some ass.  I like fighting, i want to know how to fight, I want to seriously take a blade to...  whoa way to violent. I know these thoughts are bad, i think its wrong to love fighting but i can't help what i am.  Since i don't have anyone to focus these thoughts on anymore i guess i'm kinda left in the dark about them.  Is it wrong to like being violent, but i can't even stand the thought of others being violent. i'm so confused, whats new.

i guess i kinda forfeited the right to be angry when i didn't call him for four days, but i'm not ready to talk.  I guess its official, i'm single.

So, i'm watching the Sailor Moon series, and i love it.  Its nowhere near as corny as P.G.S.M live action series.  And i've been watching chick flicks with my step-mom and sister for the past few days.  It makes me feel slightly pathetic, but at the same time i love the warm awwww/fuzzy feeling from Hollywood romance, i really don't think its exists in real life.  not right now, not for me.  and i know i'm okay with that, theres has GOT to be more to life.  Can't wait to party it up this weekend. bye now.

   I can't wait to got to the lake!  I'm really bummer i'm gonna miss all the Zaq festivities though. Zaq! try to send me pictures if you have a camera phone, i can't wait to see everything, especially the bulbasaur tattoo! 

I talked to Grant last night, was are offically taking a break, and of course him being Grant, he said he would wait for me and wanted to know if we would ever get back together. I don't know, i'm not a seer so i really have no clue, just not right now.  I tried really hard not to give him false hope but it's really hard to do when i don't know what is false hope or real hope at this point.  I took your advice Audra, and explained that it wasn't really him and i tried to be really clear. I'm sorry if he' s  called you a billion times to talk.   Anyway, enough depressing stuff, i gtg help pack the car.  Did i mention i love the Fourth?  anyway, i'll see everyone later, have an amazing weekend!

<3 Vikki